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I have had a chat with one of the moderators (goldSeudo) in the main chatroom. He accused me of harassing him and finally said 'shut up'. He then deleted the whole conversation even though I request him not to delete it so that others can look at it. He deleted it anyways.

How to deal with a rude, bullying moderator who takes thing personnel and cannot take any criticism whatsoever. It has not really been the case with me. He has called other users that they are 'insulting him' (by 'questioning' his decisions). One has to talk to him with real respect otherwise he gets offended. Below is a snippet of the chat that I had with him. Please decide if I am wrong or he is wrong. If he is wrong, what can we do about such a moderator. Does he has a place on SE sites?

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    One word. Chilax. May 13 '14 at 7:33
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    I think you better also bring the whole conversation about why he got so angry to say that??? maybe it was your fault
    – user4710
    May 13 '14 at 16:39
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    @Bludream the moderator in question deleted the whole conversation. I am not sure why. I do have a copy though.
    – muslim1
    May 13 '14 at 17:38
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    link to the chat
    – muslim1
    May 13 '14 at 17:39
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    that doesn't mean it was necessarily his fault. tell us your discussion.
    – user4710
    May 13 '14 at 17:57
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    @Bludream I have. I produced what ever chat I had copied.
    – muslim1
    May 13 '14 at 18:10
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Please decide if I am wrong or he is wrong.

You're both wrong.

You are wrong for failing to take the issue to meta when goldPseudo told you to.

goldPseudo is wrong for continuing to interact with you after you failed to listen to him.

The moderators here are responsible for moderating chat as well, ensuring that the folks participating there have a place for constructive, informal discussion. If an issue arises that cannot and should not be handled in chat, it is imperative that they direct it elsewhere. If a gentle warning does not suffice for this purpose, they are expected to enforce constructive behavior, suspending obnoxious users from chat entirely if need-be.

So... muslim1: the next time a moderator tells you to take an issue to meta, take it to meta. Make your case, then drop it. It will be up to the community here to discuss the matter, and you will be expected to abide by their decision. Do not continue to harass moderators or anyone else in chat!

And goldPseudo: if you tell someone to take an issue to meta and they don't listen, kick them from the chatroom. If they return and continue baiting you, don't respond - if they still persist, suspend them from chat for a short time. If at the end of that time they still persist, suspend again for a longer period of time. And so on. Do not let a poisonous environment persist in chat once you have warned those involved to desist!

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    First of I am sorry if I over reacted. May be I was passionate about what I was talking about and spoke a bit strongly. My little explanation, when I was told, bring it up on meta, I said good enough as long as my question is answer here. Then I was told 'shut up'. I am not sure if my 2 or 3 blocks of text can be that problematic. Again I am sorry if what I said was inappropriate. If you look at Islam.meta, you will notice moderators do not answer any question here. May be I am wrong on that one too. Thanks for answering.
    – muslim1
    May 14 '14 at 18:06
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    The point of raising a concern on meta is that anyone can respond - or no one at all, if no one but you cares. You're effectively talking to the entire community, not just the moderators or whoever happens to be hanging out in chat at that moment.
    – Shog9
    May 15 '14 at 4:03
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    I have raised it on meta. I have very well understood. My point again is I never followed someone. All I wanted is mods address some of the concerns on meta. Unfortunately they don't. I now understand they do not have to respond to anything. Very well understood :)
    – muslim1
    May 15 '14 at 5:09
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Simply you can not deal them directly. the best way is to bring it in meta and if mistreated or neglected or systematically discriminated then write a letter to SE managers.

Mods have power above you and this site has lot of unclear policies that mods can use them for justifying their actions. for example a mods quickly deletes any comment he personally dislike and leaves comments he likes. or a mod can delete or put on hold a post and find a problem for that post even if 90% of that post is high quality and when you resolve it throw you another minor problem which usually is ignored for most of other posts.

There are tones of policies around SE network that can be found by a mod to justify such actions. while policies of other SE sites are for themselves and for this site is only at level of advice. but they are enforced to this site because a mod wants this. although they are useful past knowledge and usable but still some of them are not applicable to this site because of Nature of Islam.

there is not clear set of laws. anyway I think some mods do not have enough politeness in this site and even have lack of it. I have heard the term " you are insulting me" many times when I have made a critique or advice to a mod without any insult in fact. they do not accept their mistakes and try to justify them. they react critiques very bad.

Some of sects are minority and treated as second class citizens. their posts in meta are simply ignored as if they are not part of this community. for example lets assume the topic X is on-topic in sect A and is off-topic in sect B. when a meta question is asked is X on topic. 90 of users say no it is not. it is bad for this site. and 10% say yes it is on topic in Islam (as a religion). but they are ignored. in this way this site will not result in knowing Islam.

lets use the literature of Sohaeb user. I'm sorry if this offended you, but truth should be said. I don't hate mods. But some actions of some mods are really annoying... I see some levels of dictatorship and discrimination and double standard about posts and comments of different sects in this site.

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحیم

No one may claim that he is fully knowledgeable and all of us make mistakes, so I believe that both of the sides should be more respectful and patient. By comparing the positions of the users, it is understood that moderators have a more critical role and should be even more respectful and patient.

Being a moderator needs much energy and patience. But none of them justify treating others as you like. I think there will be no problem if the moderators kindly mention the reasons for editions, deletions and etc. I've faced similar problem with that Mod and I wonder why he treats this way. On the other hand I see that he is really trying to enhance the quality of this community.

finally, there's no reason for a Muslim moderator to use an insulting phrase such as "shut up".

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I don't think they are being rude. Please don't be offended, but I think you and another user are really annoying. If I were one of the mods I would have banned you long time ago. However, Kudos to the mods for showing so much patience and tolerance not to mention how hard it is to mod a website like Islam.SE(Full of sectarian questions).


UPDATE:

Ok, let us see why I or others find you annoying:

You have asked 7 questions on meta, 3 of these questions are complains and the mods respectfully responded to you. Not to mention the 2 other questions which were OK in my opinion (Note: Mods also responded to you) and the last 2 questions, you were accusing the mods. Wow!!

The thing which killed it for me is after all the answers you received from the mods you still went to the chat(multiple times) and started harassing the mods.

Note:

  • Chat is not used to discuss these issues.
  • Mods already explained to you why they deleted your answer(s)

One of the mods kindly and respectfully asked you to bring it to Meta(which is the correct thing to do) but you kept ignoring his request while using the excuse (Mods stopped responding to me). As I said, It is clear they were responding. But the constant bugging and annoyance brought this on your self. Of course they would not respond you.

And don't even let me start with your comments and answers which is far more annoying...

PS: I'm sorry if this offended you, but truth should be said. I don't hate you. But you are actions are really annoying...

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    Annoying in what sense. Can you explain... thx
    – muslim1
    May 13 '14 at 17:37
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    ...and what would you do if you were in @muslim1 shoes? May 13 '14 at 18:01
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    @Bludream exactly, this is why users should not complain.
    – Sohaeb
    May 13 '14 at 18:24
  • @muslim1 I updated the answer to make it more clear :-)
    – Sohaeb
    May 13 '14 at 18:45
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    @Sohaeb Thanks for the answer. I dont take this site as my personnel site at all. Many of the quesitions I asked are for the site (not for myself). For example, I am very worried why moderators are deleting so many answers. I belive you totally missed the point that I go after moderator in the chat after they answer my question. Sorry where did you get that impression :) In short all my answers are about "quality of this site".
    – muslim1
    May 13 '14 at 19:04
  • more... you said moderators answer my qeustion. Please look at my seven question. Only two are answered by moderators. One answer got -1 vote, the other answer by the mod got no votes. so your notion that I go after moderators when they answer my question is probably wrong. I am not really asking that they answer "MY" Questions. They should answer community question. I have seen them not answering any of the question lately (but are on chat most of the time). So it contracts themselves when they say bring it on meta, but then themselve say, I wont answer it. Not sure if I make sense :(
    – muslim1
    May 13 '14 at 19:06

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